Tag Archives: antiques

So Basically Fuck That #Buzzfeed “25 Toys Of The 80s Now Worth A Fortune” Article.

12 Aug

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This thing is not worth $1000. This bothers me *way* more than it should you.

So like yeah I know, this isn’t the first time Buzzfeed done an article like this (although the last time was way less over-inflated and ridiculous).  But like, I’ve owned (and still own; see above) like half the things in this recent list of nostalgic toys, and lemme be the first to pop your bubble on the dollar signs that may have rang up in your eyes.

Because the whole list is completely full of shit. Wanna know how I can tell instantly? Well, because of this:

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In case you’ve literally never been on eBay before, what we’re looking at is a Buy It Now price on an item that is not up for auction (hence the 20+day time left and no mention of bids). NONE of the items in the list are up for auction, in fact. These price tags tell us literally nothing. Believe it or not, you can ask for literally any amount on anything you want to sell on eBay; the price tag police aren’t going to beat down your door over it. But you know what happens when you ask for such an absurdly high price?

buzzfeed4^literally the same auction from the article

But don’t despair; it’s not that your precious childhood memories are worthless. They’re just… not worth *that* much. There’s all these shows on reality television now about collectors having their obsessions vindicated with tons of moolah as some sort of eccentric business acumen, but that’s really not the case for the professional (or even semi-professional) collector.

So here’s a more accurate view of what these things are worth on eBay right now:

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See, this is the SOLD price of a similar item (unboxed working Teddy Ruxpin with some of the books). That’s… not a bad chunk of change, to be honest, albeit around 10% what the article would have you believe. Here’s some of the rest:

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And damn if the article didn’t undersell this one:

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Now keep in mind, in the spirit of the article I’ve only been posting the highest price bid (or accepted) on the items in the condition shown in the article. THIS IS NOT THE AVERAGE PRICE. This is, very likely, more than you will get unless you have an established eBay account with tons of good feedback.

So don’t get your hopes up kid, but you still might make a few bucks.

But before I let you go, lets get back to that Garbage Pail Kid I mentioned owning. Buzzfeed says:

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whereas reality says:

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HOLY FUCKING RAT SHIT I’M PUTTING MINE UP FOR SALE OH SHIT WAIT. That shit is a PSA10. Lets be generous and give that card I’m literally holding between my fingertips in the open air a PSA5.

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Actually, that’s still not too bad. Maybe I will try to sell some more of this stuff.

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Portland’s Goodwill Blue Hanger Is Mildly Terrifying.

28 Jul

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So like first of all, they don’t call it Blue Hanger out here; they call it “The Bins”. Sounds ominous as hell, right? “The Bins” could easily be the title of a Stephen King novel. Probably not a good one but hey, who even reads him anymore?

Anyway, the view from the bus stop as you try to figure out how the hell to get in there doesn’t help matters.

bluehanger3 is this a thrift store or a prison camp?

Now I’m kind of a veteran of the old warehouse outlet stores if I must say so myself. Many moons ago, back in Austin, I used to work as an assistant to a certain local eccentric doll collector (now successful actress). A chunk of every other work day was set aside to scour the outlet store for hidden treasure. It was a lot of fun, if a bit chaotic.

If you’re completely unfamiliar to how these outlet stores work, hold onto your butts… basically you buy stuff by the POUND.

bluehanger4fucking seriously

However, despite being pretty intimate with the concept and expectations, I wasn’t prepared for how fucking HUGE the place was.

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Now, you don’t go into a place like this without a strategy. I have a few personal surefire things I look for that make money. No I won’t tell you what they are, but you could probably guess. Certain small vintage electronics, stuff that college kids need that is overpriced as fuck in the campus bookstore, things like that. This time I figured I’d give a shot at acquiring unopened/unused printer cartridges since printer ink is the most valuable liquid on the planet and I wanna get a cut of that. While there I also took the time to take pics of certain things too…

bluehanger6sad, abandoned artwork

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hilariously obsolete electronics

 bluehanger8and of course a full size mannequin because wtf

I also managed to find a ton of cute clothes (but no dressing room so no pics, sorry) as well as a few particularly interesting things of note:

bluehanger9A nearly complete 1977 Captain America board game

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A copy of Animation Magazine with Beetlejuice-era Tim Burton on the cover

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a pile of painstakingly preserved letters/postcards from 100 yrs ago I may serialize

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and a Totoro backpack because Totoro backpack

It was a good haul overall, and I figure heading out here will be a regular thing for me. It’s just a little much to take in at once.

Maybe I was just out of practice.

Be Still My Soft Femme Heart (All Things Beautiful Antiques).

26 Jan

I’m really hating winter out here in Portland. I hardly ever leave the house (even more hardly ever than I’m already prone to) because the outdoors are just too inhospitable for this born and raised Texas girl. I can’t wait for it to warm up again so I can explore. I did a little bit of it when I first got here, checking out downtown Gresham to check out small-town thrift stores as I do. And that’s where I stumbled across the antique store All Things Beautiful.

Definitely the place to go if you love frilly things and lacey things. So much pretty.

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Methinks He Doth Protest Too Much (Literally).

13 Dec

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On Monday, the Daily Beast presented a portrait of Portland eccentric Grant Chisholm, local shop owner and street preacher.  And it’s like, I don’t wanna be the kind of girl that makes wild assumptions just because the science happens to back me up, but coooooooome on.

I mean, antique dealer by day, street preacher against the homosex at night? Compulsively attending gay events where there are naked people around in order to “judge” them? You couldn’t MAKE UP a better candidate for a third act gay reveal.