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Wish I’d Known @Pink’s Music Converts You To Satan Years Ago, Because That Is Fabulous.

23 Aug

pink celebrity satanism

So, like, whenever I mention a celebrity or public figure on this blog, I’m usually eviscerating the shit out of them. And I’m particularly merciless against socially tone deaf alt musicians and pop singers. But I don’t know, I just always loved P!nk, even if some of the awkwardly shoehorned animal rights imagery in her videos seems a bit overboard.

pink celebrity satanismLike goddamn, dial it back a notch Immortan Joe.

But yeah, P!nk reminds me of ladies I used to smoke cigarettes with in high school and who wound up showing up at my drag shows a couple years later. She grew up with asthma, like I did, and she’s a child of divorce, also like myself. She also just has this “rowdy hard-partying fag hag” vibe I have a ridiculous soft spot for. So yeah my boyfriend at the time (yes that one) and I were really obsessed with Missundaztood-era P!nk.

pink celebrity satanismAlthough, is it proper to wear Satanic floor patterns after Labor Day?

 So anyway, I bring this up because this recent article of things-that-never-happened-dot-jpeg titled:

Former Satanist: “I Performed Satanic Rituals Inside Abortion Clinics”

fuckin sure you did, buddy

The article features the further “confessions” of “Former Satanic High Wizard (a position that does not exist*)” and gross white dude dreadlock-haver Zachary King who surprise surprise is writing a dumb book called “Abortion Is A Satanic Sacrifice“. Surely it’s going to be a reasoned book that looks at all the complex facets of this controversial social issue.

pink celebrity satanism(pic unrelated)

Alongside the title shenanigans, a lot of hilaribad spoopy claims are made. He claims to have broken every commandment by age 15, which honestly isn’t that impressive anyway except the adultery and murder part. And if dude is trying to get his shit together, why did he never turn himself in and serve time for said murder? There isn’t a statute of limitations on that, and it’s possible someone innocent was charged. You know, if it wasn’t transparent Grade A horseshit. Anyway, even tho in earlier interviews he claims that Kid Rock’s “Bawitdaba” was a legit magic spell (which is so hilariously stupid I wish he’d elaborate), he seems currently set on Pink’s “Like A Pill” video luring impressionable kids to Satanism. Sounds like grandpa is trying to update his references, while still being a decade behind the times.

pink celebrity satanismSeriously dude, cut that turd of a “dreadlock” off and I could
conceivably call you “daddy” – if you catch my drift.

* And yes I know that there are other denominations of Satanism besides LaVey’s Church Of Satan. Seriously, I get it. But like, dude claims to have been a member of a high-ranking member of a “big, world wide cult” and the Church Of Satan is the only one that really fits that bill. Not that it makes a difference, everyone knows Satan worshippers (myself included) are chubby peacenik dweebs in real life. And I’d be willing to bet money the reason that “wizard” is “doing a spell” in that P!nk video is because the director thinks it looks neat.

pink celebrity satanismSeriously, that was pretty cool.

And honestly, the idea of a Satanic New World Order is a fairly transparent smokescreen for a religion that has been the rallying point/justification for European colonization, slavery, white supremacy, establishment of the gender binary, homophobia and, like… just about all of society’s ills, which still remain and deserve to be challenged on their own merits. I think a few upside down crosses and “baphomet hand signals” are the least of everyone’s worries.

pink celebrity satanism

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Alex Jones Joined #GamerGate, The Pope Thinks Trans Folks = Nukes & The Week Isn’t Over Yet.

20 Feb

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alexjonesgamergate3I like how he differentiates “3rd wave”, as if he has no prob w/the first two

I’m really having trouble deciding which of these revelations is more amazing, really. I mean, Alex Jones is pretty much his own punchline at this point. Looking into it further it looks like Jones also appealed to the hashtag shortly after it began, which is unsurprising because the dude has been riding internet trending topics shamelessly for years. Also apparently the dude that maintains his wiki also maintains Gamergate’s as well and was digging up dirt on Wikipedia editors supportive of Zoe and Anita (sound familiar?). What is it with Wikipedia vandals and Alex Jones, anyway?

So yeah, this current video posted to the tag is by one of PrisonPlanet’s staff, Paul Joseph Watson. Watson is a snarling pasty toad that was apparently cursed by leprechauns to speak only in right-wing buzzwords until he can find true love and become a real boy. He also has just the most punchable face in a crew that seems to take great pleasure in being awful.

alexjonesgamergate1seriously look at this toolbag

He sardonically repeats the words “multiculturalism” and “social engineering” and some gibberish obsesssion he has about feminists ignoring rape by non-white people or something like a terrible party magician trying to hypnotize you. He talks about “joyless” feminists, but the only point in his video where I cracked a smile was when he laughably insisted there was such a thing as “organized misandry”. Also, he manages to invoke Godwin’s Law within ten seconds of his smarmy diatribe which has to be a record or some sort of drinking game.

transplanet

Speaking of constantly terrible analogies and Nazi comparisons, Pope Francis apparently thinks us trans folk are as dangerous to life on earth as nuclear weapons and people that advocate gender theory are literally Hitler youth. Yeah, the “cool pope” said that. Good times.

alexjonesgamergate6leaked photo of the transgender agenda

In his recently published report “This Economy Kills”, he talks of how each era has “Herods” that “destroy, that plot designs of death, that disfigure the face of man and woman, destroying creation.” To give perspective, Herod was the king that killed all the little boys in his kingdom in an attempt to hunt down and murder baby Jesus. This is the level of discourse he opens up with.

alexjonesgamergate7literally gender theory

He continues:

“Let’s think of the nuclear arms, of the possibility to annihilate in a few instants a very high number of human beings,” he continues. “Let’s think also of genetic manipulation, of the manipulation of life, or of the gender theory, that does not recognize the order of creation.”

“With this attitude, man commits a new sin, that against God the Creator,” the pope says. “The true custody of creation does not have anything to do with the ideologies that consider man like an accident, like a problem to eliminate.”

“God has placed man and woman and the summit of creation and has entrusted them with the earth,” Francis says. “The design of the Creator is written in nature.”

That’s like the mother lode of terrible loaded analogies. Basically it’s fancy pope-speak for the whole trans-Frankenstein “meddling with God’s creation/what hath science wrought” boogieman, taken to it’s logical extreme.

He also compares literature that includes gender theory as “akin to Hitler Youth propaganda” and “a form of colonization” which is hilarious. Maybe the leader of the Catholic Church, literally the most prominent force in violent genocidal Western colonization in history, should shut the fuck up about throwing around such accusations until he cleans his own damn house. Go fuck yourself, Popebro.

For what it’s worth tho, as far as shitty scaremongering things to say about us, at least this one is so cartoonish it makes us sound badass. I am become trans, the destroyer of worlds.

Transluminati Witches And Beyonce Killed Joan Rivers For Saying “Tranny” Or Something.

18 Sep

joanrivers1

transplanetjoanrivers2Countdown til someone steals this pic for their Youtube Witch House Playlist.

Shortly after Joan Rivers passed away, the conspiracy sphere pretty much erupted into ridiculous theories about her death, as they do. A lot of it centers around a dude with the unfortunate Youtube handle of ZippyThe Pinheadj (guess a-i was taken) who “prophesied” her death with a story that is as convincing as his comb-over.

joanrivers3“I predict an elderly woman with health problems will die soon. Eerie, right?”

Alex Jones weighed in, but sort of danced around the issue, so in this case we’re looking at Revelation Now. They claim her death was Occult retribution for calling Michelle Obama a “tranny”, a crime so horrible it took over a month for these imagined Transluminati Witches to do anything about it.

To be serious for a moment, there are too many things wrong with the statement Rivers made (and folks like Alex Jones repeated) to even count without even getting to the word “tranny”. It reinforces a lot of the negative ways white people sexualize black bodies (and especially black women’s bodies, constantly robbing them of their femininity). It reinforces how entitled folks feel to define other’s sexual orientations. It directly correlates transgender identity as inherently fraudulent.

But no, the “pro-tranny” crowd thinks that politically correct folks that are bothered with the term can cast killing spells. Because something about a “Baphomet Hand Gesture”, whatever that is.

joanrivers4Something like this, I guess.

Speaking of Baphomet (something I love to do), another side claims that Beyonce was behind the occult killing, because the death of an elderly woman makes an awesome 33rd birthday gift (I’m pretty sure I bought an ounce of shrooms for mine, tbqh). But in any case I wound up stumbling across “Baphomet Beyonce” in Google Image Search, which is now my favorite thing ever. So I’m just gonna post images from that now.

joanrivers5joanrivers6joanrivers7joanrivers8