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Just A Quick Heads Up About Where #autogynesmile Came From. #sorryaboutyoursmirk

15 Dec

So there’s a hashtag out there called #autogynesmile that’s currently 90% cute trans lady babes and allies, a handful of completely baffled gendercrits, and this asshole:

autogynesmile1Ugh, I hate masculinists. Saul St. John is awful too.

Mostly the tag has been met with a ton of confusion, which makes a lot of sense. It’s a really, really, really fucking obscure joke. And that joke is the kind of absurd horseshit that passes for “gender critical” social class analysis.

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No, seriously… this is really the kind of thing they consider social class analysis. This weird essentialist idea that all trans women manifest this special “autogynephile smirk”; just yet another in a list of increasingly absurd “tells” they document. Seriously… they scour the photos of trans ladies they are currently stalking to perform this ridiculous exercise in cognitive bias.

autogynesmile7And here is Morrissey doing… whatever the hell he is doing right here.

So anyway, I’ve been making fun of this for a while:

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It came up in a particular forum I moderate, and someone in the thread posted a selfie doing “the smirk” and captioned it “autogynesmile” and then BOOM hashtag happened.

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Seriously tho… how the shit sad is it that trans ladies have to reclaim smiling of all the goddamn things from a so-called “feminist” critique?

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Transluminati Witches And Beyonce Killed Joan Rivers For Saying “Tranny” Or Something.

18 Sep

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transplanetjoanrivers2Countdown til someone steals this pic for their Youtube Witch House Playlist.

Shortly after Joan Rivers passed away, the conspiracy sphere pretty much erupted into ridiculous theories about her death, as they do. A lot of it centers around a dude with the unfortunate Youtube handle of ZippyThe Pinheadj (guess a-i was taken) who “prophesied” her death with a story that is as convincing as his comb-over.

joanrivers3“I predict an elderly woman with health problems will die soon. Eerie, right?”

Alex Jones weighed in, but sort of danced around the issue, so in this case we’re looking at Revelation Now. They claim her death was Occult retribution for calling Michelle Obama a “tranny”, a crime so horrible it took over a month for these imagined Transluminati Witches to do anything about it.

To be serious for a moment, there are too many things wrong with the statement Rivers made (and folks like Alex Jones repeated) to even count without even getting to the word “tranny”. It reinforces a lot of the negative ways white people sexualize black bodies (and especially black women’s bodies, constantly robbing them of their femininity). It reinforces how entitled folks feel to define other’s sexual orientations. It directly correlates transgender identity as inherently fraudulent.

But no, the “pro-tranny” crowd thinks that politically correct folks that are bothered with the term can cast killing spells. Because something about a “Baphomet Hand Gesture”, whatever that is.

joanrivers4Something like this, I guess.

Speaking of Baphomet (something I love to do), another side claims that Beyonce was behind the occult killing, because the death of an elderly woman makes an awesome 33rd birthday gift (I’m pretty sure I bought an ounce of shrooms for mine, tbqh). But in any case I wound up stumbling across “Baphomet Beyonce” in Google Image Search, which is now my favorite thing ever. So I’m just gonna post images from that now.

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Transphobic Congressional Wikipedia Vandal Also Obsessed With Alex Jones And Choco Tacos

11 Sep

transplanetchocotaco1This message not necessarily endorsed by Choco Taco Jesus.

Over the summer, anonymous accounts with IP addresses traced to the U.S. House Of Representatives have been vandalizing Wikipedia pages. Apparently this has been an issue for a while, according to this statement from Wikipedia itself on the subject in 2009. It’s reached a point where Wikipedia once again had to block Cogressional IPs from posting.

This in and of itself is so Crazytown it’s singing awful rap metal about butterflies, but it gets weirder.

See, most of the vandalism as of late has been regarding transgender related articles. And some of it sounds strangely… focused. Arguments about phrasing on articles about Chelsea Manning and Laverne Cox and the show Orange Is The New Black make sense because they are high-profile mainstream topics. But like, how many people that aren’t trans women or people that are deliberately antagonistic towards trans women even know what Camp Trans is? There was also some calculated attempts to insert misleading and false links between gender dysphoria and body dysmorphic disorder (a particular pet peeve of mine), insistence on referencing that godawful Gavin McInnes article everywhere, as well as complete gibberish about “species disorder” which is pretty much par for the course from the kind of folks that think Gender Hurts makes some good points.

transgenderism1No, it really doesn’t.

And yet it gets weirder.

The spree of vandalism came to a head with the anonymous Congressional staffer insisting they were there on “official business” of an unnamed Representative. They insisted the necessity of their mission to counter support for ENDA and rabid conspiracy theories about “the EU using neocolonialist methods to impose transgenderism on the nation of Georgia” (an obvious reference to response to a Georgia prison’s refusal of access of healthcare to a trans woman inmate). Thankfully they were finally just banned.

chocotaco2In the snarkiest fucking way possible.

But like, besides the “gender critical” stuff, the address contributed to all sorts of right-wing conspiracy crank stuff: Skull And Bones Society, Black Helicopters, UFO sightingsJFK assassination, Bohemian Grove, Alex Jones, David Icke, ad nauseum as well as absurd non-sequitor stuff about Bon Jovi and Choco Tacos. And like, I’m the last person to be all like “why are my tax dollars going to this”, but why exactly are my tax dollars going to this?

I mean shit, I can’t even log on Facebook at work without getting fired and some rabid conspiracy crank TERF hopped up on Choco Tacos thinks they can take over Wikipedia?

DO. YOUR. ACTUAL. FUCKING. JOB.

Trans-Thermidorian Reaction: The Old-Guard Has Gone Full #TERF

1 Aug

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So here we are, in the throes of the burgeoning so-called “Transgender Tipping Point” or whatever, and Andrea James is riding in like Merlin de Theonville to say we’ve gone too far, carrying the guillotine-severed head of RuPaul (who I guess is Georges Danton) wedged tightly between her buttcheeks. Playing the part of Robespierre is, um, Jennifer Boylan? GLAAD?

Fuck I dunno. Momma didn’t raise me to write gender-bent historical fan fiction.

Anyway, last week Andrea James decided the best way to use her social platform as a trans activist was to compose new hit-piece du jour in Queerty (which I’m not linking to) claiming that trans women have *too much* representation. Um, ok. The piece was a bunch of tedious hand wringing pretending to be concerned about fair representation when in reality, any pretense of said concern is complete bullshit. It’s hard to take seriously a piece that argues that a non-trans heterosexual has more right to be involved in queer matters than queer folks.

But really, this sort of invective from Andrea James is unsurprising to anyone paying attention. I’ve been counting down for months til the day James splits open along her surgery seams, releasing hundreds of freshly-Naired TERFspiders afflicted with Harry Benjamin Syndrome spilling out everywhere… all of them screaming about how they are the “truest trans”, Highlander-style, if Highlander was directed by Don Coscarelli.

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And as you’d imagine the cooperation of TERFs with violent trans activists with a history of abuse like James, the finer details come out in the wash.

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So, a few months ago I signed a thing (which also resulted in the first time my name appeared in a Huffington Post article). Shortly afterwards all sorts of accusations came about what kind of person I must be for agreeing that Calpernia Adams and Andrea James are genuinely awful people (which I learned later was at least the second time such a thing was written). Everything from “newly minted queer” to (hilarious) accusations of homophobia and resentment of the drag community to being flat out called an autogynephile.thermidor14thermidor15 And it’s like, you got your backwards-ass pop radphlegm psychology flipped if you think I’m an autogynephile. By their standards, I’m one of those sad gay dudes that can’t hack it, having my fabulous faggotness medicalized out of me by evil Big Pharma. Hell, most actual TERFs pick this up pretty quick:

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A BLOO BLOO BLOO I’m contributing to the erasure of gender-non-conforming and gay men through transition by my assimilation into mainstream society as a Satan-worshipping anarchist trans woman noise musician-

thermidor2a wait what now?

Really; I’m pretty much the opposite of the caricature they present. I rarely use trigger warnings on my writing, I occasionally call myself a “f*ggot” and even sometimes “tr*nny” (tho anyone calling me that is welcome to GTFO of my life), and I enjoy all sorts of problematic entertainment (that I have the presence of mind to enjoy critically). I’ve been around gendering so long I still have copies of Melanie Speaks and Creating A Feminine Carriage that are nearly two decades old to show for it. It’s pretty safe to say that I still have a good relationship with the drag community (despite different perspectives). I’m pretty much the kind of person James and Adams are pretending to represent, but fuck that because a decade and a half ago women like them were sneering at me and calling me a “drag queen” like it was the worst thing in the world to be.

All because I have a different opinion than them on the “tr*nny debate”. Seriously. I swear to fuck all these lumbering old dinosaurs seem to think the most pressing civil rights issue the trans community faces is making sure people that aren’t trans can use that word.

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A little over two years ago, Cristan Williams declared the Death Of The Trans Separatist Movement, which may have been a bit premature considering the turn things are going. Hell, here in Portland the “New Narratives” cult (hey yeah I’m not linking to that either) is forming and spreading across social media. It was founded by Tumblr quislings GenderMinefield and SnowflakeEspecial, and apparently their first meeting drew a whopping eight people, which doesn’t sound like much until each of them create eight sock-puppet Twitter profiles to rhetorically fellate each other with.

Which is great because what we really need out there to prevent male violence is more self-righteous frothing trans women high on TERF Kool-Aid

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And of course this wouldn’t be a proper document of gross old problematic has-beens without bringing up the racist-ass Cummings couple… they of the *thousands* of completely inept looking Blogspot blogs:

hamonyouIncluding “Ham On You”, which I assume is some really-gross porn site

Recently they had a certain someone on their show

thermidor17the Comic Sans is such a perfect touch I can’t even

And here’s the part where you’d expect me to blah blah blah about giving a platform or whatever, but nah. These two are perfect together. As long as the rhetoric isn’t aimed at someone I care about, the only thing that bothers me about her doing her gender-crit song and dance is that it’s distracting from time she could be making more karaoke videos. I mean, I’m by no means a fan of the movement,

gendercrit12like, at all…

…but the fact that this exists is actually pretty amazing in it’s own way. But that could just be because I’m actually a terrible person that enjoys ridiculous social train wrecks.

I didn’t make it more than halfway through the video, however. Even my “transgender male masochism” has limits, apparently. Hell, I almost didn’t make it through the intro because Mark Angelo Cummings is literally the worst musician ever. His music sounds like Nickelback having sex with Nickelback on a pile of Nickelback Albums with Nickelback playing in the background. Painful.

The interview opens with one of her mean-spirited “parody” videos, mocking a certain teenage transfeminine person’s vlog. Mark immediately chimes in that he watches it all the time, laughing. So we’re already off to a marvelous start; with three grown-ass middle-aged adults openly mocking the efforts of a teenage queer person figuring things out at a confusing and painful time of life. These grown-ass middle-aged adults want to be seen as advocates and leaders in their respective sexual orientation and gender identity-based movements.

Truly marvelous. But that’s not even my favorite part.

My favorite part is when Jessica Cummings has some sort of an epiphany. Or maybe a stroke, I can’t tell. “I see all these trans women out there, and they know nothing about being a woman,” she notes, nodding mindlessly. “All they know is stereotypes!” she giggles coquettishly, bottle blonde head suddenly cocked provocatively to the side as her Valley Gurl accent intensifies.

Truly, truly marvelous.

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But what really makes this a brilliant piece of tragic comedy is how much the two just eat that shit up. I’m sure they’re all like, “that’ll show them newly minted queers!” as if they’re in on the joke. As if, as a heterosexual couple no matter how you slice the gender pie, they were somehow outside the crosshairs of her uneasy musings about the “heterosexual infiltration of the gay liberation movement”.

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At no point (that I saw) did they ever catch on. Marvelous.

thermidor11Clean your mouth out with soup. Um, ok bro.

This Is What “Gender Abolition” Looks Like.

31 Jul

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I’ve said it before and I say it again: if there was a movement that actually seemed earnestly devoted to the abolition of gender, you couldn’t possibly sign me up fast enough. That gender-crits reframe tolerance and respect for the existence and experience of trans individuals as somehow being “pro-gender” is ludicrous. I, for one, have absolutely zero devotion or loyalty or wish to advocate for the hierarchal structure of gendered social roles, expectations, and behaviors that degrade all women and see women like me as below garbage for somehow “eschewing” some sort of birthright by not being a heterosexual conforming man.

But in practice by it’s proponents, “Gender Abolition” is a buzzword, not unlike “War On Terror” or “War On Drugs”… an lofty claim with no clear plan and more often than not used as an excuse to rationalize shitty behavior they were gonna do anyway. You don’t even have to take my word for it, they’re perfectly capable of making their actual motivations clear.

gendercrit30gendercrit27

But then, this is the Gender Abolitionist/”gender critical” movement, the “radical” movement where lived experience is meaningless and all the “facts” are sourced from FOX News. Where sensible shoes will alleviate gender dysphoria and overthrow compulsive heteronormativity and toxic hegemonic masculinity forever.

Where literally the most homophobic organization in existence is considered “pro-woman” simply by virtue of their mutual hatred of trans women.

gendercrit15Thank god the TERFs are so willing to stand up for the poor, oppressed WBC

Where a “male-born” (their term, not mine) can joke about throwing a “female-born” (their term, not mine) person in a volcano (a form of human sacrifice that claimed the lives of hundreds of women), and it’s a-ok because the “female-born” person is trans.

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Where literally the only original commentary a supposedly “pro-woman” site had to the Eliot Rodger shootings was to make it all about trans women somehow.

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Where “TERF is a slur”, but “f*g” and “wh*re” not so much.

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Where sexualized violence and threats of disclosure against us are literally treated as a joke:

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Where folks display a laughably disjointed historical perspective:

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Where pedophiles can be considered “pro-woman” somehow because of mutual hatred of trans women:

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Where the ideology and positions on gender transition and identity are functionally identical to that of the Southern Baptist Convention:

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Where they coyly claim that their stated desire to “mandate us out of existence” is simply a turn of phrase, and then openly discuss how they will literally mandate us out of existence:

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Where questioning the assumption that you are some sort of unnatural rape monster with interests inherently at odds with other sexual assault survivors, means your own status as a survivor is deliberately erased because you didn’t live up to their specifications:

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Speaking of detransition, I’ve already been there, and managed to snap out of it before it killed me. So, of course I should go back and do it again because you say so:

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Where they preach all day about this imaginary “pressure to transition” that gender-non-conforming gay folk experience from the trans community, when in reality the opposite happens:

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Where they supposedly speak for “every woman”, even the women that go out of their way to make it clear they don’t speak for them. Give it a rest, Whitney.

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Because ultimately what it comes down to is that You Are What They Say You Are:

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COGIATI Is The Worst Classic Text Adventure Game #Retrogaming #90snostalgia

19 Jul

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So I know it’s been ages since I’ve done a video game review on here, despite promising I would be more proactive in that regard. So today’s game is a classic from the mid 1990s.  It appears to be some sort of text adventure created by the same designer that made the classic Apogee game BOPPIN.

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The game is called COGIATI (which is probably one of those nonsense magic words like XYZZY or PLUGH). It promises the acquisition of a “transsexual gender inventory” which honestly doesn’t sound very epic, but I’m not too good to grind for unusual and rare items.

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The game opens up with an admonition to “answer truthfully” to some questions that will follow, which I thought was cool because it reminds me of that fortune teller from the Avatar trilogy of Ultima games.

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It’s kinda dated, but I do get a kick out of the non-traditional methods of character generation. Some of the questions seemed to lead to certain classes, even though they were kinda sexist:

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And others that seemed to be pointing towards special super powers your eventual character may possess-

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The thing is tho, the questions never seem to stop coming. No recognizable character development or progress is shown, and some questions seem irrelevant or morbid-

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So then I finally get to the end of the questions, and instead of presenting a well-rounded character and a world to explore, I was presented with an ending screen:

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What a ripoff, right? I go through all that and I get is a psych recommendation. I mean, it’s better than the endings of River City Ransom or Ultima Exodus on the NES, but still. It’s almost as disappointing than the ending of NARC where it tells you to become a cop-

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So seriously, even if you’re somewhat of a completist when it comes to classic text-adventure games, you may want to pass this one up. There’s no plot to be seen, just endless grilling about your identity forever. Real life provides way more than that to spare.

Board Games, MRAs, David Icke and the Transluminati.

26 Jan

transplanettransluminati1

So in just a moment we will be discussing one of my favorite internet forum threads ever, but first lets talk about a terrible board game. Let’s take a moment to watch the corniest white people in the world play and pretend to enjoy it:

Basically, the whole point of Scruples is to out your friends as the morally-inferior weaselly dirtbags they are. You have cards with moral dilemmas and a card with a yes, no, or maybe response. You pick the friend that is most likely to give the reply on your card. So… which one of your friends is most likely to pick up a lost wallet and not try to find the owner? Which one takes the money from the Nielson people without filling out the survey?

How much fun does that sound? None?

So it turns out that the creator of said game, Henry Makow, is a hardcore homophobic, anti-Semitic men’s rights activist conspiracy theorist, and boy is he way out there.  The logic of his now defunct “Save The Males” MRA site goes something like this:  1) Gay men have sex with each other because they hate women 2) Feminists hate men and want to destroy them all 3) Since both hate heterosexuality (naturally), they’ve joined forces to create porn to poison the spirits of manly men. And you can bet your sweet bippie that he has some rambling jackass opinion on where trans women use the restroom.

transluminati2That fedora is permanently attached to his head.

Of course this all makes sense because the Illuminati.

Which brings us to this amazing 380 post thread from the David Icke forums on Freemasonry’s Hidden Transgender Agenda. Only four posts in folks are claiming the Illuminati’s ultimate goal is “ to confuse humanity and subject them to a transgender master race” which frankly would be AWESOME (sorry cis folks).

Further highlights:

The bombing of Hiroshima was part of the Trans-Gay Agenda because Enola is Alone spelled backwards and the names of the bombs imply a pregnant man.

A reminder to myself to struggle through this dreadfully boring video to see if there’s anything that would make cool samples:

Trans women are a part of a Jewish Conspiracy to make cishet white dudes confused and feel guilty.

Obligatory Holocaust Denier post because this is the David Icke forums.

I AM THE TRUEST TRANS THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.

The truth behind Barack Obama’s birth certificate is that he was born a woman.

So like, I’m a transsexual/transgender whatever and I find this whole speech laughable. Fuck your right-wing HBS BS.

Seriously, trans separatists are just so fucking awful.

…they want you to mate with negroes and produce hybrid slaves for the Jews

The Illuminati are known masters of forum thread-jacking.

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Apart from false-flag 9-11, nothing better demonstrates society Illuminati subversion than their attempt to make us behave like homosexuals.”

SASS

Biochemically engineered gay and trans folks to dilute real men for the Androgeny Agenda.

Okay this person GETS IT.

Obligatory post of someone doing a Google Image Search for “Gay Pride” to make some stupid point (surprised it took this long to show up).

SASS

The “gay voice” is created from too much TV and microchips.

Gay jeans and CIA planted counterfeit lesbians.

“Conspiracy nuts” is a slur.

A symbolic deconstruction of the Michael Jackson album Dangerous for some reason.

SASS

And then, sadly, the thread drifts off and ends.

 

This Website Is Called Total Fascism. Where Do I Even Start.

23 Jan

transplanet

(Trigger Warning: Neo-Nazi fuckery all over the place).

So earlier this week some friends/fellow members of the elite race traitor Transqueerluminati were discussing far right wing sites and bloggers that drift so far out that they’re almost funny (when you desperately try to forget the truly awful people that agree with them).

At one point someone mentioned a gathering where someone had done an absurd dramatic reading of this piece of happy horseshit, I mean critique of anarcho-capitalism. Now, I’m no fan of anarcho-capitalism (or capitalism) or Ayn Rand or objectivism by even the remotest stretch of the imagination, but nowhere in my critique would you find me accusing it of being a “Jewish Conspiracy” (which I’ll go into more detail momentarily).

Most laughably, he claims AnCaps are universally pro LGBT rights (has he even MET any AnCaps? Jesus fuck.)

freedomLemme just break this whole image down; one that is unsurprisingly similar to image diptychs you’ll see all across the social conservative spectrum.  On the surface it’s a pretty typical social conservative “I did a Google Image Search for ‘gay pride’ to distinguish from socially respectable people”  piece of tired-ass crap. They dig up a picture of a colorful (usually DMAB) person and hold it in everyone’s faces all like THIS IS WHAT YOU SUPPORT THIS IS THE FUTURE BE TERRIFIED. And anyone with any sort of sense is like… what? That’s not scary at all, that person seems fun and probably takes themselves a lot less seriously than you do, grow the fuck up. Frankly I find the creepy Teutonic sepia-tone pic of the homogenized milk-white family shadowed with their patriarchal Reichsadler Eagle overlord way the fuck more terrifying.

totalfascism4Seriously, this website is stocked with paintings of hideous dead-eyed Aryans.

You may notice for this article I’m gonna be focusing more on the dude’s homophobia than his racism. Mostly because the dude is Neo-Nazi trash, of fucking course he’s racist. There really isn’t anything in particular to point out and deconstruct, the whole site is operated on the assumption that everyone is at least as racist as he is. What is there to deconstruct about a dude that can say with no sense of irony that comparing POC to monkeys is a perfectly reasonable conclusion and seems surprised it is controversial.

That said, from here on out whenever a white person makes up an imaginary African name and pretends to speak in AAVE, or whenever I hear a white person dismiss cultural appropriation, this article is what will immediately come to mind.

But then, whenever I see someone argue that parents being supportive of their trans* children is abuse, I’ll be thinking of this article. TERFs, MRAs, religious right, Nazi assclowns, it’s all the exact same white heteronormative patriarchy to me.

And like, sure people like this dude think everything is a “Jewish Conspiracy”, but this dude think’s EVERYTHING is a “Jewish Conspiracy”. He thinks feminism is a Jewish Conspiracy. He thinks transgender kids are a Jewish Conspiracy. He thinks criticism of gay conversion therapy is a Jewish ConspiracyHe thinks cursing is a Jewish Conspiracy. He even thinks Alex Jones is a Jewish Conspiracy.

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Ah, I guess obesity is also a “Jewish Conspiracy” too. He also uses the phrase “emotion-based” so often on his site I’m pretty sure he believes emotions are a “Jewish Conspiracy” as well.

And like, I personally think Alex Jones is a joke and have no qualms mocking him and his fans relentlessly. But when I hear a Neo-Nazi sob incoherently about how hurt he is by Jones saying mean things about Hitler, I’m like “Fuck. Yes.”.

Because Nazis and other anti-semites are barely human trash and I want them to cry more.