A Fool, Money, Etc: This Memories Pizza Thing Is Gonna End Hilaribadly.

11 Apr

pizzahate1Meanwhile, allow them to stare into your soul.

Within the last week or so, right-wing Xtians have decided to prove a point, and that point is that reinforcing homophobia is vastly higher priority to them personally than helping cancer patients or victims of terrorism. This what they really care about, this is what they value. This would be sad and pathetic, if it wasn’t a hilarious example of gullible chumps willfully throwing their money away passive-aggressively.

Like, first of all this whole thing couldn’t scream scam harder if it tried. Successful businesses don’t close down after a day of imaginary threats from “gay terrorists”. Around the same time, a gay-friendly bakery refused to bake an anti-gay-marriage cake and received legitimate death threats from frothing right-wing extremists and never threatened to close. Reminder that between gay activists and right-wing Christians, the latter is far more likely to murder you and bomb your place of business. Not to mention, these clowns were already threatening to take the donations and run just a few days ago.

Also, this is a sit-down pizza place that doesn’t even have delivery, much less catering service. They might as well said they will refuse to serve Vietnamese pulled-pork soup to gay people.

But hey, if a bunch of gullible losers manipulated by Glenn Beck (and his website The Blaze) want to sink a ton of money into prolonging an inevitable failure that’s on them. Indiana isn’t a friendly place, business-wise, to independent pizza shops and flinging a ton of money at a struggling white trash family with a business model that begins and ends with “NO HOMO” isn’t gonna fix that. Yeah cool they opened their doors to a ton of new customers, but how long is that passive-agressive consumership gonna last before it runs out of steam? Chik-Fil-A thrives off controversy like that because they are a national chain; these people aren’t gonna be moving to this podunk hick town to guarantee regular business for the place.

Also, even a cursory glance at how massive financial windfalls for rednecks that have no idea how to manage that much money turn out is a pretty grim picture. In all likelihood, their church and hillbilly relatives pouring in out of the woodwork will siphon them dry in a matter of months. And before y’all accuse me of being classist, I have every right to call grifting white trash for what it is. Apparently The Blaze is also providing a financial advisor… um ok. How long is that gonna last? The kind of financial advice one would get for suddenly receiving nearly a million dollars and 15 minutes of fame is vastly different than relevant advice for the income of a dive pizza joint (which likely doesn’t rake that much money in from a decade of business).

In any case, this is a disaster waiting to happen. Is there such a thing as pizza-flavored popcorn? There is? Excellent.

pizza2

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