“Literal Hugboxing” – This #GamerGate Review Thread Of #GDC2015 Is Hilarious And Sad.

8 Mar

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So last weekend, the 2015 Game Designer’s Conference went down, the first noticeably haunted by the spectre of the GamerGate movement. Amongst all the frothing righteous fury over a dumb joke (jeez guys it’s just “satire”), I stumbled across this gem of a thread (that I’m not linking to) in KotakuInAction. It’s by a mysterious “minority in the games industry” that admits to being scared of hindering his career by reporting that he stumbled around the event in a daze like some elderly relic from the 1950s emerging from a fallout shelter into modern times.

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I couldn’t imagine why this dude would have concerns about his career, considering he spends the entire post screeching about how times are leaving him behind and the recognizable names are all “talentless hipsters”. Couldn’t imagine at all. He bemoans that folks in a career path rooted in creativity are expressing themselves creatively. He’s literally Hank Hill, and all these rainbow-haired kids need to get the hell off his well-manicured lawn.

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First of all, I LOVE the idea that people need to “earn” the right to dye their hair. Also, like, I took C++ in college in the 90s: I designed my own 2D side-scrolling platformer engine using fucking WordUp Graphics Toolkit when Seinfeld was still on the air. Who. The. Fuck. Cares.

literalhugbox4I never said anything about being GOOD at coding tho….

He’s a virtuoso metal guitarist frowning at a bunch of kids writing punk rock tracks; and that’s probably giving him too much credit. More likely, he’s a studio musician that spent his whole life crafting other people’s artistic visions and is baffled and embittered that these kids can flesh out entire projects without people like him. A fucking dinosaur; a sad relic with nothing left but bile and existential cries of his own impending obsolescence. But because this is GamerGate we’re talking about, he’s got a whole army of budding neocon Breatbart-reading Reagan Youth to pat him on the back and hearken for the days when professionals wore suits. No, fucking seriously.

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Considering how reactionary conservative these clowns are, you’d think they’d know a thing or two about the history of their little hobby but NOPE.

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Amongst the threads there was easily as much whining about the existence of gender-neutral restrooms as you’d imagine in a forum not unlike Free Republic. Like seriously, these people think it’s a literal conspiracy.

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But I really think the true coup de grace of the whole thing is the OP lamenting seeing “literal hugboxing” amongst indie developers, which really deserves broken down because damn.

First of all, for those that aren’t aware of slang terminology of child-porn sharing neckbeards that get off mocking handicapped children, “hugbox” is a reference to this tool counselors use to calm children that have trouble with social interaction and physical stimulation. It simulates human contact, basically, which apparently is hilarious to these people. So, you know, it’s use is a great calling card to let you know who is an asshole.

Second, keep in mind that hug machine devices *simulate* human affection. This person is so socially alienated from human social convention that he interprets physical affection amongst peers as requiring a layer of artifice. That, even face to face, they are somehow *simulating* care for each other.

You know, fuck the whole fallout shelter analogy, I have to assume the author of that OP must be from some empathy-challenged alien race. Stumbling around, baffled and infuriated by the informal and friendly interactions amongst people that actually give a shit about each other instead of huddling in some hateful internet forum clique seething at them from the outside. Fuck your lawn, grandpa.

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One Response to ““Literal Hugboxing” – This #GamerGate Review Thread Of #GDC2015 Is Hilarious And Sad.”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. It’s About Ethics In Anti-SJW Conspiracy Theories #GamerGate | Rani Bakr Digs You. - May 9, 2015

    […] 9000 unreadable chan-clone forum posts or whatever, so I’ve been stuck with stuff like this thingsthatneverhappened.jpg and good old Alex Jones. Until now. God knows where I found it… all those terrible forums […]

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