So Basically Fuck That #Buzzfeed “25 Toys Of The 80s Now Worth A Fortune” Article.

12 Aug

buzzfeed2b
This thing is not worth $1000. This bothers me *way* more than it should you.

So like yeah I know, this isn’t the first time Buzzfeed done an article like this (although the last time was way less over-inflated and ridiculous).  But like, I’ve owned (and still own; see above) like half the things in this recent list of nostalgic toys, and lemme be the first to pop your bubble on the dollar signs that may have rang up in your eyes.

Because the whole list is completely full of shit. Wanna know how I can tell instantly? Well, because of this:

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In case you’ve literally never been on eBay before, what we’re looking at is a Buy It Now price on an item that is not up for auction (hence the 20+day time left and no mention of bids). NONE of the items in the list are up for auction, in fact. These price tags tell us literally nothing. Believe it or not, you can ask for literally any amount on anything you want to sell on eBay; the price tag police aren’t going to beat down your door over it. But you know what happens when you ask for such an absurdly high price?

buzzfeed4^literally the same auction from the article

But don’t despair; it’s not that your precious childhood memories are worthless. They’re just… not worth *that* much. There’s all these shows on reality television now about collectors having their obsessions vindicated with tons of moolah as some sort of eccentric business acumen, but that’s really not the case for the professional (or even semi-professional) collector.

So here’s a more accurate view of what these things are worth on eBay right now:

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See, this is the SOLD price of a similar item (unboxed working Teddy Ruxpin with some of the books). That’s… not a bad chunk of change, to be honest, albeit around 10% what the article would have you believe. Here’s some of the rest:

buzzfeed6buzzfeed7buzzfeed8buzzfeed9buzzfeed10

And damn if the article didn’t undersell this one:

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Now keep in mind, in the spirit of the article I’ve only been posting the highest price bid (or accepted) on the items in the condition shown in the article. THIS IS NOT THE AVERAGE PRICE. This is, very likely, more than you will get unless you have an established eBay account with tons of good feedback.

So don’t get your hopes up kid, but you still might make a few bucks.

But before I let you go, lets get back to that Garbage Pail Kid I mentioned owning. Buzzfeed says:

buzzfeed12

whereas reality says:

buzzfeed13

HOLY FUCKING RAT SHIT I’M PUTTING MINE UP FOR SALE OH SHIT WAIT. That shit is a PSA10. Lets be generous and give that card I’m literally holding between my fingertips in the open air a PSA5.

buzzfeed14

Actually, that’s still not too bad. Maybe I will try to sell some more of this stuff.

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3 Responses to “So Basically Fuck That #Buzzfeed “25 Toys Of The 80s Now Worth A Fortune” Article.”

  1. coyotenose August 12, 2014 at 8:07 am #

    Oh my gosh, I always hate thinking about all the stuff I left behind as a child: entire sets of Micronauts toys bought at auction, entire sets of KISS Mego dolls, nearly-complete G.I. Joe and Transformers lines for the first few years, extensive Barbie and horse and stable sets… agh.

    Something I always have to tell people for some dang reason: If it says “collectible” on the packaging, that means IT WILL NEVER BE WORTH ANYTHING.

    Something else I always have to tell people for some dang reason: Even if an item legitimately lists at a good price, that doesn’t mean much of anything. You have to find a BUYER. If someone actually wants an obscure item enough to pay 100x its original value, chances are they’ve already found one, or they are holding out for one in better shape than yours.

  2. impossibletospell August 12, 2014 at 1:51 pm #

    Wow. Part of me always wants the Buzzed contingent to be right, not just because it would mean my attic contains $100K in Lego, but because it’d be some sort of retroactive nerd vindication, letting capitalism prove I secretly had great taste all along.

    Your bubble-bursting is a public service.

    • destroyedforcomfort August 12, 2014 at 1:58 pm #

      Well again, it’s not like this stuff is worthless. It’s just… not worth a fortune.

      Collecting stuff is a “get-rich slow” scheme, lol.

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