Avril Lavigne Suddenly Remembers Japan Exists, Forgets How To Music.

22 Apr

If you’re like me, when you hear that a song is a collaboration project between Avril Lavigne and the songwriters from Nickelback and Evanescence, you think “wow that sounds like something too awful to actually exist”. Except, alas, it totally does.

avriljapan2

Yep, that’s Avril Lavigne standing in what appears to be the stock room of a Party City with four Japanese pallette-switched Oompa Loompas. But why tho? From every angle you can approach it, the song and video for Hello Kitty is just awful. It dives into some awful strip-club version of a dubstep break at exactly the places you’d expect the songwriter for Nickelback to have a song break down into an awful strip-club version of a dubstep break. It even has an extended break while Avril literally loses her mind over having sushi prepared for her.

avriljapan3C’mon, girl. It’s just sushi. Please get a grip.

At least when Gwen Stephani was approaching 30 and had a sudden annoying weaboo phase a decade ago, she name-dropped Harajuku and brought attention to performers and fashion designers. She even did the “me photo-opping with 4 identically dressed Japanese women that look positively bored with my white Asian-fetishizing bullshit” thing better.

avriljapan4I’m not even joking.

All this video/song seem to express is HOLY SHIT GUYS HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THIS THING CALLED JAPAN THAT JUST CAME OUT. Except that it’s not even really about Japan, just washed out shots of them awkwardly dancing in that generic cupcake room-

avriljapan5but why tho

-and washed out shots of her walking through some generic candy shop

avriljapan6but why tho

and washed out shots of her on some generic street in Japan(?) waving off camera like a harvest festival queen in the loneliest parade ever-

avriljapan7but why tho

The video debuted today and has already been pulled from Youtube, presumably because of the collective groan it recieved from everyone with the slightest bit of taste. I know it’s sort of trite and pointless at this point to refer to a piece of pop music as bland or generic or soul-less, or to have any sort of social expectation for said pop music entities, but this is just bad.

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6 Responses to “Avril Lavigne Suddenly Remembers Japan Exists, Forgets How To Music.”

  1. The Messy Maiden April 22, 2014 at 7:50 pm #

    This is too funny :p

  2. theb8z April 28, 2014 at 10:17 am #

    implying she knew how ‘to music’

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